I’m a man in my twenties.
Who has zero self-esteem.
I have always been bullied by the people I love for the way I look.
I’m neither dark-skinned,
Nor fair-skinned.
I’m tall, but not thin,
My body is disproportionate somehow.

My hair is naturally straight and I wish it were curly.
My father loves it when I wear it down.
He doesn’t like it when I tie it back.
Sometimes I try to make it curl, prompting my mother to call me mankoosha [frizzy-headed].
“Don’t style it that way again.”
body image, hair, beauty standards

“Why isn’t my hair pretty like yours?
Why isn’t it soft like my friends’ hair at school?
Why do I keep screaming whenever my mom fixes it for me?”
body image, hair, bullying, beauty standards

I stopped wearing the hijab a few months ago.
Ramadan is approaching and I’m terrified.
I’m afraid of what my family might say.
I’m afraid of what people in the street will say.
social stigma, hijab, hair, harassment, the street, social pressure

I started getting comments about my curly hair when I came to Egypt.
I get comments like, “Brush your hair.”
“Mop-head.”
“Why is your hair so messy?”
body image, hair, bullying, beauty standards

I used to not hate my hair.
As a child I was quiet and scared of people.
I always avoided interacting them.
My shyness increased in school.
That’s when people started commenting on my hair.
“It’s like a brillo pad.”
“Your hair is a mess.”
My classmates would always ask what was wrong with my hair.
body image, hair, bullying, beauty standards

Back when I was in school, all the boys and girls would stare at my hair and call it a “brillo pad.”
I braided my hair most of the time so people wouldn’t notice I had coarse hair, and so I wouldn’t stand out.
body image, hair, beauty standards, bullying

My mom: “Do another protein treatment to straighten your hair, it looked nice on you”
Me: “Protein treatments are harmful, they could lead to skin cancer.”
hair, body image, bullying, beauty standards

When I was young, my mother used to cut my hair even though I would beg her not to.
I had always wanted to have long hair.
“Your hair looks like a loofa,” she would always say.
I couldn’t tie it back when it was short.
It looked terrible under the hijab with the school uniform.
I was bullied at school because of my hair.
People would touch it and make fun of me.
body image, hair, beauty standards, bullying

I spent so many years wondering why God gave me a decent-looking face—or so people say—and hair that looks the way it does.
He could’ve given me decent hair too.
I figured God must’ve done this on purpose.
But why?
beauty standards, body image, hair