Every day, I feel guilty towards my daughter.
There was a time in my life when, unfortunately, I had looked up to certain people in my life and felt that I had to act like them.
One of those people was a cousin of mine.

I got married when I was 24.
And divorced when I was 29.
Now I'm a single mom to a 7-year-old girl.
motherhood, marriage, divorce, work

I was lost.
I was trying to figure things out.
Where did I go wrong?
The anger I had inside me for wasting years of my life was projected onto my poor son.
I wanted to be selfish.
I wanted to love myself.
I’ve been through enough.
motherhood, marriage, divorce

Their idea of “protection” is misconstrued.
It’s no different than my father putting me inside a box.

You’re not the greatest mother.
You think you are.
You don’t care about me.
You don’t show respect,
And you feel that the best way to treat my pain is to ignore it.

I got married as soon as I finished college.
I studied translation.
I got pregnant right away with Eyad.
Everything was good at that time.
But before I started work,
I noticed that my son,
Who was two years and four months old,
Hadn’t uttered a single word.
motherhood

In my previous job, there was this poor lady that wanted to be friends with everyone.
“I’m going to have surgery,” she said one day with a certain look in her eyes.
I thought it’d be something gynecology related.
“I did the surgery,” she told me a couple of days later.

I spent 10 Eids and 10 holidays in prison.
The day before Eid makes everyone sad.
That was the case for the cell I was in.
Everyone would be sad from the day before Eid until the following morning.
prison, motherhood

I’m a divorced mother of two.
I take care of my children all on my own.
It’s been 3 years since the divorce,
and I haven’t received any help in raising the children.
motherhood, work, family

After I left my husband, I decided to look for a job.
I tried to find a job at a hospital, but they only needed nurses, and I’m no nurse.
I kept looking for a job but couldn’t find one.
Things were looking bleak.
“How old are you, ma’am? 36? Sorry, no can do.”
domestic violence, physical violence, sexual violence, gender violence, marriage, divorce, motherhood